One of the joys of being married to Walter is that he is my friend. Talking, watching television (even sports) or simply spending time in our office together have always been things we've enjoyed doing together. Actually, it really hasn't been about the activity, so much as being in each others presence. There are couples who do not spend time together and if they do they really don't enjoy it. God blessed us with this gift of friendship and it is something I know we can't take for granted.
God is the core of our relationship. We started this relationship with Him; through prayer we knew we were soul mates and by prayer we have maintained our bond of marriage and our friendship. As with most couples and friends, we don't always agree and we have had many bouts of frustration and disappointments, but because we are committed to God and committed to each other we have come through some rough times. Commitment, prayer and obedience have been the things that have kept us.
About twelve years ago we started having a lunch date once a week. Initially, we would get a babysitter for the children and we would go have lunch and spend time together. When the babysitter and going out were no longer feasible, we stayed home and brought our lunch in and we'd have lunch and a movie in the "love nest" (our bedroom). So many times during our lunch date the presence of the Lord has been so evident to me. We still have our weekly lunch date. This commitment alone has helped us to come together as one, it enables us to be consistent about just the two of us sharing time, space and meal together.
I must say there have been seasons of drought in our relationship, times when life has been more difficult and we became distant from one another. Because we've had a fruitful relationship, a drought does not go unnoticed, in fact it is very apparent. During these times, God has been quick to convict me and draw me unto Him. He speaks to my heart calling me unto obedience. He makes it clear to me that I must trust and obey Him.
I love my husband, my friend and when we are lacking, I am lacking. I don't seem to stand against the daily toils of life as well when we are not on one accord. I have learned to listen to God in prayer for Walter is His child and He knows how to care for him and how to correct him. When I am obedient and faithful, I feel a peace even in the midst of a drought and a calm in the midst of our storms. God has his way of bringing us to a place of reflection and repentance and that is good soil for pulling weeds and planting new seeds.
This is a season of planting for us. God has called me to appreciate my "Mr. Steady" for who he is and to cultivate our relationship by pursuing him. I have asked him to go out with me each weekend this summer, not for an official date like dinner and a movie but for a time of "courting" if you will. We've gone for a meal and sat in the car and talked and joked and we've gone for a beverage and taken a walk around the mall holding hands. I am so grateful for this gift of friendship. God knows exactly what we need, for He wants us to like one each other as well as love each other.
What do you and your spouse do to cultivate your relationship?
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